This is my role. I observe with complete abandon. Watching from the inside and beyond. To be content in all situations is the goal. How hard it has been to be so hard on myself yet, that is also the role. There are no justified resentments. Must I forgive so that I may be free? I am ok with the person I have become good or bad because ultimately it is just a mask. I choose love yet embrace my dark side, not because I’m evil but because the focus is achieved through duality. Through war and famine are we able to grow? I must always remember that fear is the opposite of growth. I can see the beauty in darkness because it is all around me. So please, go easy on the Devil, for he is a friend of mine, sometimes…
CHAPTER 1: John’s room
John sat in a room. Alone and quiet, just staring at the wall. This room was not at all his friend. It wasn’t his enemy either, after all, it is just a room. There he sat slouched in a metal chair placed in the center of the room. He had no clue what he was doing. He was lost in his own mind, dreading the inevitable. On the wall was a light fixture that stuck out just far enough to incase the electrical components and the bulb. The bulb was bare, nothing to block the light. Over the loudspeaker mounted in the corner came a voice.
“Are you ready to begin?”
“No! You have to let me out,” cried John.
“Remember John, you signed up for this.”
“I, I wanna see my kids!”
“Your kids are dead, John.”
Looking back he was at his house standing over four dead bodies. He remembered it being all to easy but he couldn’t for the life of him think of why he would do it. He thought of the blood and the look in the eyes of each victim as they passed into nothing. A calm came over John. He took a deep breath.
After about 45 seconds the light in the room started to flicker. The light is not John’s enemy. The light turned to a dark blue and seemed to move like a liquid. The blue turned to pink, then yellow and finally turned into what appeared to be a natural red radiating from a fire. It was no longer coming from the bulb. It was just there. A humming resounded throughout the space. It pulsated and rattled the room. The hum is not John’s enemy. Over the loudspeaker, the voice said, “It’s working John, get ready.”
With a calm arrogance, John mumbled, “I’m ready.”
John was a new man. He wasn’t thinking about his situation or his time spent in prison. He wasn’t thinking of his dead wife and kids, not even for his own safety. More humming came, more time went. Time is not his enemy. The room went black all except what was starting to form. The light came from the center of the room and nowhere at the same time. This was the way to the end of his agreement.
No one knows what will happen if John is able to step through. Where will he go? All too often this is the question everyone is asking. All the planning in the world won’t save you from the inevitable.
“I suppose there is only one way to find out,” mouthed John.
Another voice came but not from the loudspeaker. The sound was not even in the room yet everyone heard it. It was painful to listen but futile to resist the voice that almost seemed to hypnotize each person listening.
“So, they try again. Don’t be afraid John”
“How do you know my name,” asked John.
Ignoring him the voice stated, “Stand John and I shall invite you in. Yes, you are more than welcome. As a matter of fact, I have been waiting for you.” The voice began laughing hysterically. “That’s kind of a little joke, it’s what all mysterious voices say, right?”
John stood and started to walk forward when he realized he was still in the room and wouldn’t be able to walk far. He never seems to understand.
“I don’t understand, you just want me to walk in?”
“You yes, your body, no,” demanded the voice.
After a minute John was ready to give up. After all, he really had no clue what the voice was talking about. John started to sit back down when not the voice but a voice said, “just go.” It was the easiest thing he had ever done. He just went. Now he followed the voice into the opening. He gave up all and “he” went in. His body hit the floor and with a flash, the light came back on in
“Yes, come, John, we have much to discuss you and I,” said the voice.
The voice, that is his enemy.
Chapter 2: John’s gift
John felt light. No, that’s not right. John had no weight at all. He stepped towards the voice and felt the strongest sense of nostalgia. It was as if he had been there before. Like he had always been there, in this room. When John stepped through, there was no light or tunnel or magic that transported him there. He was just there, in a room, a different room. This one was not right, however. It all felt wrong. John could smell death in the air and he knew it was what it was because of his familiarity with it. The room was dim and damp with a slow drip of something dark falling from the corner of the room. It was too dark to tell but John knew the smell all too well.
He could make out a doorway because there was a yellow burn flickering through the passage. What was beyond the door was a mystery. He thought about his situation and thought maybe he had made a mistake. He started to feel his way around the room with the hopes of finding a way out.
“Out? how did I even get here?” John said to himself.
John found himself feeling his way around a shelf when he came across what felt like a stick or a pipe. He grabbed the stick to pull it off the shelf and in the process knocked all the shelves contents to the floor causing a loud crash… With a fright, John froze like the blood that ran so cold through him. Not so much at the noise he made, that didn’t help but he heard a scuffle coming from the other side of the passage.
He heard a footstep and then the dragging of another and this continued until a shape formed in the doorway. He heard a moan so shrill it could make his ears bleed, that is if he had ears. Almost as if translated by John’s new state of being he heard in unison, “you must make yourself know John. It is impolite to roam about in another man’s home.”
“It’s, it’s you. You were the one who asked me here.” John said.
The figure took another step into the room dragging their other foot behind them. John could make out a shadow of a man covered in leathers. When he became clearer John saw a man head slouched with long matted hair falling over his face.
“Very good John.”
“Who or what are you?”
The being who John could make out very clearly now was indeed a man. He dragged his foot as he stepped fully into the room. Backlit by the flicker outside he stopped and looked up. Ignoring John’s question, once again moaned the painful noise that was translated by John to say “Where do you think you are John? Do you think even if I told you who I am that you could comprehend what it means? No more questions, John. Besides, you already know what you are asking. I am eons and this is the role I play. The question is why John. Why are you here? Do you think I entertain just anybody? Don’t be foolish.” The man spoke as if John was supposed to understand what he was talking about.
“Why then?” asked John.
“Well, John I bring you here to give you a gift.” the man said.
“A gift?” asked John.
“Yes, I am no longer welcome in your world and without me and the role I play imbalance will become the new norm. You see, I am a bringer of balance. I will give you the gift of pain, the gift of death and understanding. You will take this gift back to your world and share it with all of your people. You will bring them death and pain! This is now your role John.”
“I don’t understand. I don’t want to hurt people.”
The moan continued again “I will show you your true self John because I know that you get confused, lost in what you think you are.”
The man started to walk toward John and it made John pull away with fear. John turned to run to wherever he could. Realizing he was stuck and at the mercy of his host, he turned back toward the man with his stick held battle-ready. With confusion, John noticed the man was no longer there. With no moan but plainly speaking John heard the form behind him say, “this is now the role you play John!”
John’s head was grabbed from the back by a hand that was too large to be human. He tried to fight when he felt something come into him. He imagined the man was pumping something into him, like a tube connected to a tank. Once again John was confused because he was under the impression that he had no physical form here. He tugged and pulled and screamed until there was silence.
All the fight was out of John. He realized with a twitch of his head that he was wrong, he did want to hurt people. He wanted to hurt them all. John for the first time understood. This new pain was a gift, a gift that he would give to the world. He turned to say thank you, but when he twisted around the man was gone. All he saw was a gray wall. The original room. He had returned home. The door opened and two men in hazmat suits came in. Over the loudspeaker he heard ”Welcome back John, tell us, what did you find?”
John looked up and said with an utmost calm “what did I find? Let me show you. The hazmat suits were no protection for what John had brought back.
Thanks for reading! Leave a comment and tell me what you think!
More To come!